Be a Light Onto Yourself

It's been a while since my last blog entry. I took a break from writing because I have been incredibly busy with Thai Massage and other school work. As well, over the Christmas break a family member became very ill. It has been a very stressful few months, but I am happy to write that I still have my sanity... and I honestly have my lifestyle to thank for that.

I have been very fortunate not to experience death or illness in my immediate family. I have never known what those facing illness have gone through. You could say that life got VERY real all of a sudden over Christmas. My mother, who is the most amazing women I know, is in the process of being diagnosed with what could be a very life-threatening illness. I have never had to be so strong, as I have taken the role of her care-taker this past month. You never think that one day, you will have to be a mother to your own mother. But it has happened in my life.

If this happened 2 years ago, I would have broken down and been helpless to everyone in my family. I would have been a useless basketcase. I have to say, that everything I have done in the past 2 years in terms of Holistic Health and Meditation has prepared me to deal with this situation. It has given me the strength I need to be the rock that my family needs right now. I have never had a healthier state of mind than I do right now facing what could be a tragedy.

When we first found out that my mother was sick, I wanted to do everything in my power to help her heal. I offered every remedy, every treatment I could do for her... but my mother had no interest at the time. At first, I took it very hard because I wanted to heal her. I wanted to make it all go away for her. But after spending time in such a loving environment at school and through meditation, I came to realize that I cannot save her. The only life I have power over is my own. All I can do is be the best Sarah I can be and if that inspires others than that's a bonus.

"Be a light onto yourself" is the last words that Buddha spoke to his followers. It reminds me that we all need to shine a light onto ourselves to see our own amazing potential. You must know for yourself, the truth of yourself. You cannot realize it through another, not matter how great that other is. There is no other authority that can reveal your potential. If you live your life in this manner, you will be such a strong light that you will naturally inspire those around you.

That is what I have been practicing in my life. I can say that I have seen a huge change in my mother when I am around. I can't save her, but I can be such a light that it inspires her to find her own and begin the healing her own life.